I Didn't Set Out to Become an ADHD Counsellor

Rebecca Loan
Oct 30, 2024
5 min read

Updated: Jun 10

But life gradually led me in that direction and I'm so grateful it did.

20 years ago, I was raising a family, working in the health charity sector and, unbeknown to either me or my husband, trying to navigate the very same challenges that affect the people I work with today.

If you had asked me then whether I would one day be a counsellor specialising in ADHD, it would have said no. I didn't know anyone with it, anything about it and our course - although accredited by the BACP and with a excellent reputation for quality and content - did not mention neurodivergence either.

Looking back, however, I can see how a series of professional and personal experiences gradually led me to where I am today.

Starting the Journey

My formal counselling training began at the esteemed Chelmsford Counselling Foundation in Essex, where I completed a five-year BACP-accredited psychodynamic counselling training.

The training was demanding, challenging and deeply rewarding. It taught me to look beyond symptoms, behaviours and presenting problems, helping people make sense of the experiences, relationships and patterns that sit underneath them.

Psychodynamic theory remains at the heart of my work today and provides the solid base upon which all my further learning has been built.

Alongside my training, I worked in the charity health sector, helping patients and family carers affected by life-limiting conditions ensure their voices were heard by those with the power to improve services.

Those years taught me many things that I still bring into my work today - most importantly, how to meet people exactly where they are, particularly when life feels uncertain or overwhelming, and how to shape support around the individual rather than the label.

Building a Private Practice

After qualifying as a psychotherapist and counsellor in 2018, I opened my own private practice.

Initially based in Essex, my work evolved as life took me to Spain and later Singapore. Living abroad gave me a deeper understanding of what it feels like to leave behind familiar support systems, navigate different cultures and build a life in a new country.

Over time, I found myself working with people from a wide range of backgrounds, cultures and experiences. Each client taught me something different about resilience, relationships, identity and the many different ways our minds make sense of our environment.

A Personal Turning Point

My journey towards ADHD specialism began through a combination of professional curiosity and personal experience.

I started noticing more clients describing difficulties with focus, organisation, overwhelm, emotional regulation and relationships. Around the same time, my husband received a diagnosis of ADHD after many years of us both being totally confused why certain patterns kept repeating in both work and family life.

His diagnosis was a huge turning point. For him and us.

Suddenly, ADHD was no longer something I encountered only in the therapy room. It was something that had been part of my life for more than 30 years explaining countless miscommunications, misunderstandings and mishaps.Things that had never quite made sense before began to fall into place. Like many partners of ADHDers, I found myself reading everything I could get my hands on.

Falling Down the ADHD Rabbit Hole

The more I learned about how ADHD affects not only the individual but also their relationships, self-esteem, family life, work and emotional wellbeing, the more I realised how much I still had to learn - both for my client work and my marriage.

I wanted to understand the strengths, the struggles, the misunderstandings and the many ways ADHD can shape a person's experience of the world.

That curiosity led me to undertake further ADHD-specific training, attend conferences, learn from leading ADHD clinicians and immerse myself in the growing body of research surrounding ADHD across the lifespan.

In 2023, I became an ADHD Clinical Specialist, bringing together my psychodynamic background, relationship work and growing ADHD expertise.

Rethinking My Practice

Over the past few years, learning about ADHD, neurodiversity and the differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent minds has led me to rethink aspects of my own practice and, if I'm honest, myself too.

Like many psychodynamic therapists, my original training focused on boundaries, holding the frame, unconscious processes, attachment, anxiety, relationship dynamics, patterns and early experiences.

However, working with ADHD clients, deepening my understanding of ADHD and living alongside it every day has encouraged me to ask some difficult questions about what is genuinely in my client's best interests.

For example, if a client understands why they struggle but still cannot organise their day, remember appointments or get started on important tasks, am I truly working within the principle of beneficence - doing what is most helpful?

That was just one of many questions I found myself exploring.

It led me to consider how psychoeducation, executive functioning support and practical ADHD tools could sit alongside deeper therapeutic work. Rather than replacing my psychodynamic foundations, it expanded them and challenged me to think more creatively about how best to support each individual client.

This journey has also sparked a growing interest in supporting other counsellors and helping professionals who are trying to make sense of ADHD in the therapy room. As awareness of ADHD continues to grow, I suspect many therapists are reflecting on similar questions about ADHD in the therapy room. It is a conversation I hope to continue exploring through future articles, workshops and professional training.

Where I Am Today as an ADHD Counsellor

Today, the majority of my clients are adults, couples, parents and professionals whose lives are impacted by ADHD.

Over the years, I have built up a wide range of tools and techniques to use alongside psychotherapy. Drawing on both my therapeutic training and previous professional experience, I have created many of these resources myself to help address the emotional, practical and cognitive challenges that adults with ADHD face every day.

Knowing how much neurotypical partners can struggle too, I have a particular passion for creating resources that help explain why miscommunication, misunderstandings and painful assumptions can arise in ADHD relationships.

My aim is to help both partners feel understood, reduce painful misunderstandings and find ways of supporting one another more effectively.

One of the things I love most about this work is that the learning never stops. I believe we still have so much to learn about the what, why and who of ADHD

- and I am here for the journey.